In all of these circumstances, your AA or NA sponsor and your support network are crucial aspects during the amends process. The Native Americans understand that restorative justice was a process of accountability and repair that heals the entire community. Judaism has a yearly practice of accountability and apology to those whom you have harmed with your actions. The amends I made to her was admitting my wrongs and shortcomings due to my addiction. My living amends is being the son she deserves–someone who will do for her as she has always done for me.

How Living Amends Positively Impacts Recovery Outcomes

An amend involves rectifying or making right what was wrong. For example, say that you stole $20 from your brother while you were using. In the midst of your ninth step, you say to him “I’m so sorry that I stole that money from you and used it for drugs”. A true amend would be giving him $20 back along with the apology.

Evidence-Based Addiction Treatments and Step 9 AA

For example, state law ensures the privacy of medical records for young people authorized to receive care, including abortions, without parental consent. What is most important is that you start the process of forgiveness—of you forgiving yourself and of your loved ones forgiving you. For example, if you were driving under the influence, crashed your car, and injured your friend, your friend may have severed all ties with you and refuse to meet and relive the trauma. Instead, you can volunteer your time to educate teens on the dangers of driving under the influence of drugs or alcohol. It may feel counterintuitive because of all we’ve been taught about “making a mistake” and all of the shame we carry.

• I am very sorry for stealing money out of your desk in order to fund my drug habit last year.
• We understand that fact and don’t choose to run from it, and we understand that words cannot make those painful memories disappear.
• An example would be telling someone how sorry you are that you stole from them and actually giving back what you took.
• Recognize and acknowledge your behaviors that caused harm to someone else.

If You’re Struggling to Make Amends

We strengthen and reinforce healthy recovery whenever we do our part to repair relationships or reach out to others with support and understanding. When the person you owe reparations to has died, you can still make living amends by changing things about you and how you live your life. These changes can positively impact the people you love and care about. Sometimes, the list of people who you’ve wronged can seem endless and overwhelming. Ask your sponsor’s advice, start slow, and remember—you can go at your own pace.

What Step in AA Is Making Amends?

I cannot go back and change the past, but I can take responsibility for my actions. Each day I ask my Higher Power for the strength to help me stay sober and live responsibly and with honesty. I hope https://ecosoberhouse.com/article/the-abstinence-violation-effect-meaning-when-recovering/ you can find it in your heart to forgive me, but if not, I understand. It can be tempting to say things like “I’m sorry for everything I’ve done to you,” but try to avoid these blanket statements.

Rescue teams rush to transfer flood-trapped people in Guilin

• We should go easy on the words and strong on the actions.
• It’s hard to find the right response to someone making amends.
• It is also best to have your sponsor or spiritual advisor guide you through this part of the 12 steps.
• In Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), making amends is considered a crucial component of long-term recovery.
• Or, they may gain greater insights about addiction and commit to being a more supportive person in your recovery.

Connect with 12-Step treatment programs to start planning your recovery. You may also have the opportunity in the future to make more direct amends with certain people in time. However, this future possibility should not keep you from working your steps. Other individuals who have completed Step 9, such as your sponsor, may be able to help you choose a meaningful way to make indirect amends. While many people are receptive and supportive to attempts to make amends, some are not.

There are three main types of amends, and it’s important to recognize which one is appropriate in a given situation. Understanding some making amends examples can help the individual correct past behaviors. Say, for example, you’re preparing to make amends to a former coworker, whom you once stole from to pay for drugs.

Making Amends: How to Repair the Damage Caused by Active Addiction

• When someone I love and care about tells me that I did something that hurt or upset them, my first impulse is to show them how they’re wrong.
• Each step signifies a new challenge to reflect and/or act in a way that changes old mindsets and behaviors that once fed addiction.
• The amends I made to her was admitting my wrongs and shortcomings due to my addiction.

One of the best ways you can make long-lasting changes to your relationships is by being true to your word. Essentially, don’t make promises that you can’t keep and do everything you can to live up to the promises you do make. The unfortunate truth is that we’re all human and we all fall short sometimes. However, that doesn’t mean you’ve failed at your new, honest and sober lifestyle. You can still be true to that by making an honest apology and not making excuses for why you didn’t follow through. Then, the next time around, make sure to make good on your word.

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Sometimes, the outcome can be uglier and downright disappointing. They may refuse to meet at all or refuse to listen to what you have to say. Sometimes it can be hard to know what to say when preparing to make amends. There may be so many times we feel we let someone living amends down that it can be hard to know where to begin. We want to convey our heartfelt remorse but worry that our words will fall short. We are seeking accountability for our own actions and holding ourselves to the standards of our own values and our 12 Step program.